What’s that? You want a SEQUEL, you say??
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…
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Wait what? You didn’t order this sequel? Hold on
(*calls HR department*)
Okay, sorry about that. The responsible parties have been execute—uh, dealt with accordingly.
So no I won’t be delivering a sequel to Congratul-ASIANS, but I will just mention, that the Asian hi-jinks did not cease to exist. Nope. Asians were back in full force this week too.
I suppose you are wondering whatever happened with Boo? We spent a weekend together before she rode off into the Korean sunset forever.
I’m sure you want the details. You want to know how deranged things got.
You want to know what it’s like to have a Korean sex slave, who loves pain, and is constantly looking to up the ante sexually.
Well, due to the extreme graphic nature of what happened, and the overabundance of TMI stuff I spilled last week, I’m going to restrain myself and hold off on all of the juicy, dripping wet details.
There is one thing I will mention though, and that’s did you know you could give someone an orgasm just by sucking on their neck?
I didn’t either.
But that’s enough about neck orgasms.
On Saturday night a Thai girl I knew from Bangkok (+1 to yet another Asian group I’ve been involved with over the past 2 weeks) came over and started spilling out all of her guy problems. Right before we are going to a Cinco de Mayo party. I’m listening. At first.
Then the story starts to take like a little too long and the solutions are obvious so I’m like, “Well if this guy is stalking your Instagram feed and you are getting all these alerts on your phone in the morning and it ruins your day then why don’t you just turn off the notifications?”
And she gets up screaming in a broken English accent “Daa-bee! You don’t support mee!”
And then she left and I was like “Okay we can’t be friends anymore.”
Shame. I’ve known her for 7 years.
That night, at the Cinco de Drinko house party, I became a spirit animal…
…and somehow made it home and violently throat-fucked Boo. Oops, sorry; I said I wasn’t going to mention that stuff.
Just know that it was a epic blowie that lasted longer than an hour. With her taking multiple water breaks in between. I guess if you suck cock for that long your throat gets dry? That’s something they don’t teach you in the textbooks.
For Boo’s last night in LA, I took her to The Comedy Store, which might be the best stand-up comedy spot in LA. It’s pretty legendary, and random amazing comedians could just drop in and do a set. David Spade and Bobby Lee were unannounced when I went, both were very funny. Whitney Cummings and Chris D’Elia were the headliners that night, and I was pretty sure I hated them going into the show, but they were both excellent as well. Sometimes I think I tell myself I don’t like something, and then for no reason I have to stick to that idea. Until proven wrong. Like those two fine comedians.
Honestly, The Comedy Store is the shit and everyone that comes to LA has to see a show there. Sunday night, 20 bucks (+2 drink minimum), excellent way to spend the night. Also all of the comedians are like… human level. Like they get on stage and do their thing, but then you see them walking around the crowd and shit. Smoking buds outside the back exit. All that good shit.
The show really inspired me though. I’m getting into stand-up comedy this summer. That’s that.
Yesterday was interesting too. We went to interview Persians and ask them what they thought about Trump pulling out of the Iran Deal. Most of the people were for it. Only one guy was against it, and he just moved here 6 months ago. He could hardly speak English, but he had the most “recent” view of things in Iran.
Another guy came here under political asylum after leading a student uprising in Iran in 1999, and subsequently getting a death sentence put on his head. So yeah he had to come here. But he thinks that sanctions are the most peaceful way to cripple the current regime. And it’s anti-violent, a common perspective held among the Persians we spoke to. There are 250,000 of them on the West side of LA alone. It’s the largest community outside of Tehran. It’s called Tehrangeles, btw. Puns, am I right?
Wait so are Persians considered Asians? They are, aren’t they! No they totally are (*shoots doubters*), that’s another Asian group represented, that’s 6 FREAKING ASIAN GROUPS I’VE COME INTO CONTACT IN THE PAST 2 WEEKS. MY GOD! THE ASIAN SAGA CONTINUES!
WU-TANG
WU-TANG
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