-Cold showers
There aren’t many times when you’d want to take a hot shower, but there aren’t many times when you’d want to take a glacial tundra bath either.
-Hair in your food
Hair, bugs, maybe a tooth if you’re lucky–you don’t complain about anything that lands in your food. You just remove it and eat it. It shouldn’t bother you, anyhow.
-Dogs barking everywhere
Can’t sleep? Is it the rooster that’s piercing the air with cockadoodledoo’s in the middle of an urban area at 3 am? No, that’s only a minor annoyance. it’s the dogs, that for some reason, have kept barking for 17 straight minutes.
-Fly infestation
There will be moments where you sit down to eat, but your brain can’t even have time to think about the taste of your meal because it’s too focused on swatting flies that are here to make your life miserable. Just gotta be the bigger man and ignore them.
-Arguments over 1 dollar taxis
There are times where you and your friends are getting into it because, hey, “I paid the last taxi! It’s Karen’s turn to pay! Karen, quit being a douchebag!!” And then it hits you, later as you sit in your lair, that all that–ALL THAT–was over a taxi that was equivalent of 1 usd. Good job you scoundrel.
-Diarrhea
Diarrhea happens to the best of us, and if you’re backpacking, you will eat street food. And that stuff, a good portion of the time, is not safe for human consumption. Hopefully you’re in a hostel and not some jungle when it shi—hits.
-STD scares
Sex is a way of life, and in SE Asia, it’s a bit MORE of a way of life. Your foreigner status is going to mean more chances for you then the locals. And you are going to make some bad decisions, especially if you came out here looking to utilize the local condoms. Scares will happen, and you will be in a hospital getting the big checkout. Fact.
-Abortions
I… uh…. I don’t wanna talk about this.
-Clingy girls expecting you to provide their ticket outta there
First date with a chick? Great. She’s already got the whole wedding planned out.
-Just kidding about the Abortions one
-Apathy towards razorblade vagina shows
True story, my friends were in town and wanted to see one of the famous Thai “ping pong” shows. So I took them, and, while they enjoyed the show, I found myself strangely apathetic to what was happening on stage. When a woman pulled a long string of several razor blades out of her no-no zone and I YAWNED, I think I realized I may have been here too long.
-Being pushed into drinking by locals
The locals find you interesting. They see your tallness and non-black hair and want to communicate with you, but they don’t often speak passable English. So when they’re out drinking on the street late at night, and you come walking by, this is their big chance to communicate with the fabled exotic foreigner! They hold up a glass and expect you to drink. No matter what business you have, you are always expected to drink.
-Drunk taxi drivers
The above situation is made all the more awkward when you tell them no thanks, I’m not drinking, but I need a ride somewhere. Most of the time, those said drunk locals are the same ones giving you rides around on a motorcycle. You kind of learn to accept it.
-Auto accidents
Hopefully your ride with the drunk motorcycle taxi doesn’t end in one of these, but you will, will, see an auto accident in some manifestation while you stay in SE Asia. the traffic is mental, and while it is managed well, every now and then someone gets mowed down. Don’t be surprised. Gore happens.
-Lastly:
