Sorry I haven’t written in awhile, I’ve been…doing “real world” shit. Like taking a shit. In the real world.
Lot has happened since then. My special lady friend, The Queen, has debuted in America! WHOA LOOK AT MY EXCITEMENT I’M LITERALLY YELLING RIGHT NOW AND MOM IS GETTING ANGRY
Yeah, so that only took A YEAR. For her dirty latina ass to get a visa to the U.S. Sheesh. Never again.
Also, in much more important news, I WENT TO ASIA. Took a little month-long vacay. Did Japan for the first time in 6 years! My favorite country, yet I haven’t been there in that long? Pff. Where is your loyalty, Darby-chan!? Also, boners bonus, I went to China too. My first time penetrating a Chinese place (but not my first time penetrating a Chinese person). And boy, let me tell ya. Surpassed all expectations. Was just a load of fuckery. And I mean that in the best possible way. A. Load. Of. Fuckery. You understand me, right?
In my next upcoming blogs, I will draw parallels and non-parallels (diagonals) between Japan and China, and then I’ll do another blog about what it feels like to return to Japan, 6 whole years later. I promise you will love those articles. In fact, I’m so sure of it that I’ll that I’ll say: satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back. What? This is a free blog? Okay, how bout if you don’t like it, I’ll spit in your face. Then I’ll fart on your Wheaties. The ol’ “Ethiopian breakfast” treatment, as we say around here.
Sometimes people have issues keeping tabs on me (which I guess explains this electric shock collar), so one question I get asked frequently is “where will you go next?” And then I say, “wherever the wind takes me.” And then I get “no mister, that’s not a good enough answer. When will you move out of this damn house??” Then I say, “you can’t make me Mom!” and then she calls the authorities, and well, you know how that goes.
But for people asking where I will live, it looks like Chicago is going to remain my home… for a bit longer. I wouldn’t mind doing just 6 months here, if I can find a lease for that long. A one-year contract, for anything… is the worst thing you could have, ever. A year-long death sentence. Fuck that. I don’t know where, or what, or who I’ll be in one year. I may be a fucking tranny. That’s why I don’t get tattoos. Because that shit is gonna look real dumb to me a few months from now.
Well that’s all. Keep it real short this time, so I can work on the Japanese ones. Just wanted to remind you all I was still here. As the title implied.
Damn. We were all kinda hoping you went quietly into the night. And died. Horrifically. Alone.