Hi there! Today I’m gonna talk about a hobby of mine:
Collecting flags.
Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about gathering a physical collection of those oblong-shaped cloths that represent a country or whatever.
Nor am I talking about visiting a country and “collecting” it, as if adding it to a list of places I’ve been around the world. I mean, I do that too–and right now I’m at 50 countries collected (great job Darbs!)–but I’m not talking about that either.
I’m talking about collecting flags, as in: collecting foreign pussies.
And in that sense, yes, there is a list, and yes, there is a game, and I’d like to believe I’m winning that game.
No, it’s not about the number, it’s about the pursuit. It’s about the satisfaction of sleeping with a foreign chick and being like “Well, I guess I now know what Bangladeshi pussy smells like!”
I’ve been collecting flags since really the beginning, since not too long after losing my V-card. I’ve always been a bit more interested in girls that were somehow different than me, and after awhile I just completely burnt out on American girls, to the point that now, should I come across one, I’m as interested in them as I am in getting a cavity drilled.
I’d never be able to recount all the stores of the flags I’ve amassed in my life, but I figure that now, since the last few girls I’ve been with have all been new flags, I’d briefly discuss each.
A-HEM.
Here we go.
First contestant:
Jordan.
(The country she was from, not her name, sheesh!)
I’m proud of this one because this was my first like “purely Arab” chick. Also, the rarity of sleeping with a Jordanian is pretty damn high. According to my Jordanian guy friend, “Dude, you slept with a Jordanian girl? That’s like… 1 in a million chances. I’ve slept with five girls in my life, and my friends back home see me as a sex god! I bow to you.”
Now what’s funny about this one is that this happened in Egypt. Egyptian girls were a tough nut to crack, and a flag I never picked up–so this felt like an appropriate substitution. In short, I met this girl at a beachside dance party in Dahab. I was immediately drawn to her humongous cans, and we exchanged info. A few days later we were out on a date, and it ended with me splooging all over those cans.
But what was really crazy was the aftermath. The more I got to know her, the more I realized how unlikely this situation ever was. She was 25; she’d lost her virginity just one year prior. She had to completely conceal the fact that she’d traveled to Egypt from Amman (the capital of Jordan) because if her family found out she’d come here on vacation by herself…
They would fucking kill her.
That is not a figure of speech. I mean, quite literally, her father would hunt her down, and give her a mercy killing. Because an unmarried Arab woman traveling alone is not OK.
And so she had to hide everything. She would constantly be applying sunblock when we were out, not giving anyone any reason to suspect she’d left the country. She would tell me how big of a deal it was when she decided to stop wearing a hijab, how it was a big scandal, nearly earning her the wrath of her father or any of her TEN (!!!) brothers.
When she got back to Jordan from Egypt, her cousin (who worked at the airport) spotted her walking off of an airplane and told her father, and she was in deep, deep shit. And guess what? One week later she was engaged, to some guy friend of hers, because that was the salvation; the only chance she’d ever have of true freedom would be as a divorced woman; this was this first step towards that.
Utterly insane. But like I said, I got the flag, and that’s all that counts 🙂
Next contestant:
Israel
Yes, after Egypt I did a trip to Israel, and it was way better than I was expecting. Namely, the women were way hotter than I’d imagined. Thick bodies, and thick accents.
Another nice surprise was the timing of my trip: I got there during the celebration of Israel’s independence, which is celebrated over the course of 3 or 4 days. Couple that with the already insane amount of partying they do on the reg, and I was in a very good place.
I was bouncing around between hostels, as I do, and at one of the hostels near the beach, I met a girl working the counter who tickled my fancy. I could see it in her eyes that I tickled hers, too. I’d flirt with her everytime I stopped by the front desk, and sometimes she’d give me a shot of local liquor to take with her or whatnot.
And then on the last day of Independence Day celebrations, I went to meet her and her friend at a bar and we were vibin’. Later, when we were on the rooftop of some random dude’s house, I accosted her coming out of the bathroom and pulled her in for a heavy makeout session. It was nice. But my time in the country was nearing an end…
On my very last day in Tel Aviv, she told me that I didn’t have to stay in a hostel that night, and that I could come stay with her. I agreed, obviously. She had plans to give me a proper sendoff: cooking me shakshuka and making homemade sangria. We ate, drank, and shortly thereafter, we banged. It wasn’t the kind of straightforward banging; she was on her period and there was a lot of interruptions–by the need to get a towel underneath her ass, by the need for me to get hard again after the condom on my cock made me soft while waiting for her to find that towel–but it happened, and it was a glorious goodbye to the Jewish nation.
Hilariously, the next day, she started sending me memes which, somehow, someway, she’d found that described the exact same situation that we’d been in when we were banging. Memes that, as I would eventually learn, she had created herself, and they were fucking funny. I’ll post the best ones here:
Third and final contestant:
Turkey
I’ve saved the best for last. Istanbul, an awesome city for so many reasons, but I’ll remember it for this one encounter.
Once again, it was my last night in the country (best time to get laid?), and it was a special one. I’d spent the day with a big group of travelers, from various places, and a few locals too. We found a bar that night and strolled in to the back, where a nice crowd was gathered for a Wednesday. The music was nice, some kind of slower, acoustic versions of pop songs. After about 15 minutes I stood up from my table and spotted a couple of girls playing the music I was hearing. Not covers; live music.
I observed the duo: one brunette with long wavy hair and glasses. She sang and played the fucking violin, while the other one, shorter and blonde, played the guitar. I was instantly enamored with the brunette: her voice, singing a killer rendition of a Kylie Minogue song; her bookish, kind of sexy-librarian glasses; and of course, her curvy cleavage, nearly slipping out of the black suede dress.
I waited until she took a water break and made my move. “I have to hang out with you,” I said, or something to that effect.
“You’ll have to wait until 11, when I finish.” And so I did.
After her gig, we went out to a kebab place, and then a club, where we had a drink and a dance. We met the guitarist and her boyfriend at his workplace and did a few shots, and soon after we were in a taxi back to her place.
When we got home, there was absolutely no bullshit. This was a woman who knew what she wanted.
She threw on a song on her speakers and proceeded to USE MY PENIS as a microphone, to sing whatever the fuck the lyrics were–I can’t tell you anything because I was losing my mind. Her cleavage did meanwhile fall out, and her breasts were angelic. I cupped them in my hands while she continued singing the rest of her penis-song.
After the song ended, I stood up, went for the condoms, and threw her on the bed in her bedroom. She didn’t want to waste any more time with foreplay, and my kind gesture to lick her pussy was denied in lieu of just banging.
We created some music of our own after that, with the bedframe hammering away at the wall violently. This lasted upwards of 20 minutes, before she asked me to cum.
“Where do you want me to cum?”
“In my mouth,” she said, laying on her side and opening wide.
I think most of it got in her mouth.
After that we slept for about three hours, and then I had to wake up and board a bus to Romania.
…
…
…
I have a really, really sex good story that happened just recently, but unfortunately that happened with a flag that I’ve already collected. So non-applicable here.
But I’ll be adding that to a future exploit, titled:
“Banging Latinas Outdoors”
