Wow!
I haven’t written in some time!
Not since I moved to Bangkok, and that was 10 months ago!
Well…
First of, I’d like to thank those of you joining me here for their first time. Yes, this is my (Darby) blog, and if you don’t know what a blog is, good news: neither do I! I think it’s like a kind of online diary, where you talk about antique doll collections and reveal deeply personal secrets, like you picked up a midget pirate hooker last week and “apparently,” their bodies are just as hard to dispose of as real-sized people! Who knew?
So yeah, I’m in Bangkok, one of my favorite places in the world, which has now become one of my least favorite places in the world. Allow me to explain:
Corona.
No further explanation necessary!
But since some of you are a little dense, let me break it down:
When I arrived in this country, I had to quarantine in a hotel for 12 days. No human-to-human contact the entire time, ‘cept when they jammed that cotton swab into my nostril, to test me for aids or whatever. An unforeseen consequence of the whole experience was that it was the longest I’ve been without drugs or booze since… well, childhood—and my brain was working like super good and shit! I could even fully complete sudoku puzzles, a first!
Then I got out of quarantine, and all I wanted was a fucking Thai massage. But nope! Those were illegal now. All the bars were closed, and have been the entirety of my time here. The only fluctuation has been within the restaurants, and whether we could sit down and eat there or not. Otherwise, things are generally closed, some places permanently.
This is such a stark contrast to the Bangkok I know. The rampant hedonism. The ladyboys giving me handjobs in the streets. Part of me wonders: is this karma? Karma for all of the fun I had last year, when I should have been boarding myself up, living in a bomb shelter, hiding from the almighty King Korona. What was I doing instead? Traveling, being free, and living life no different than I would otherwise.
As it stands, I’m going to hang tight, remain optimistic, and hope that things open up soon. That the mandatory quarantine for international visitors (some of whom intend to visit me) goes away, that the bars open up, that the prostitute districts take me off their blacklist, etc.
I’ll give it three months. Three months for Thailand to get their shit together. To get some fucking vaccines up in this bitch. And if things aren’t on the up-and-up by October, I will remorsefully leave the country in search for greener pastures.
In the meanwhile I’ve got plenty to keep me busy internally. And that includes writing a book and making more vids. Did you see my latest YouTube videos? Did you even know I had a channel? I would certainfuckly hope so. It’s called Explicit Explorers, and it’s currently on season 3. That’s like 30 episodes already! Where have you been?
Well, I think I’ll cut myself off right about now—I can do this “talking to oneself” thing for wayyy too long. Everyone stay safe out there—or don’t, the choice is yours, and I don’t really give a fuck either way. You’re an adult, right? No? You’re a child living inside an adult body? Well holy fuck, that makes two of us. See you on the playground!
