Hi y’all.
How’s it going?
Have you missed me?
Don’t lie.
I missed you…
Forgive me for neglecting you, oh faithful reader. Lord knows Explicit Exploits readers are some of the most devout fans out there.
As for why I haven’t written in a month +, well, it’s not for shortage of content, I’ll tell you that much.
Whether it be gushing to a real life FBI agent over my love of The X-Files, or flying to Texas to interview a guy who wants to build the Mexico border wall, there’s so much that happened that I don’t even want to discuss it.
I’d rather go camping.
Just kidding.
I’d rather bang your mom again.
My new job as a news producer for a foreign TV station is pretty much the greatest thing ever. I don’t want to sound pretentious, or like I am exaggerating at all, but it really is the greatest. If someone could have designed the perfect job, for me, that tailored to each of my specific interests, well, this would be it.
For example: I love travel. At my new job, I get to travel out of the city/state/country frequently. Wherever there is a potential story, I will go there—provided it is in our territory. Which is quite large mind you, and includes the whole West Coast, Central America, and Canada… which I just learned was a country.
(Did you know that? I always thought Canada was just a big U.S. state, like Alaska.)
Another example of… whatever I was giving examples about up there: video games. I love em! My old life plan was to work for Nintendo, up until about a few months ago. But I gave up on that dream. “Oh well,” I lamented. “One can only wonder what that life would be like.”
On my third day of the job I got assigned to cover E3, which happens here in Los Angeles every June.
The Electronic Entertainment Expo has been my dream destination since I started reading video game magazines 20 years ago. It’s a three day event where all of the big game companies (Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft… Sega when that was still a thing) assemble in one place, announce all the new shit coming out, reveal their top-secret projects, and offer hands-on previews of these games to the public for the first time.
Well, not really to the public. It’s kinda tough to get in if you are a civilian. You have to belong to one of those gaming magazines, or some sort of technology publication to attend.
And yet, somehow, here I am, still that same child in a man’s body, now a member of the press, now attending and covering the event, where I’ll be able to MEET and SPEAK to all of the biggest players, including—dare I hope—Shigeru Miyamoto, the father of Nintendo? Which is a fuck load cooler than merely working at Nintendo, in my opinion
Plus, with the power of the press pass, I get to skip all of the long lines of heathens waiting to try out the new games. And I’ll be able to try VR porn finally. I mean… I expect them to have some VR porn there.
Yes, work is good. Life is good. Life is usually good, you just don’t stop and appreciate it. Do that more. Not you, specifically, but… actually yeah. You. I am talking to you.
In other news, our wrestling podcast, now 3 months into it’s conception, is making big strides as well. We are attracting “regulars” into our audience, and streaming the show live on Periscope before it gets posted on the No Return Flight Youtube channel. Also, we had our first celebrity in the audience, a basketball player for the Golden State Warriors. He wanted us to talk about basketball, and instead we started talking his horrific leg injury where his leg bent back in half, and he… promptly left. Now that we are attracting regulars and celebrities, we’ll begin work on retaining them, and not scaring them off.
Here’s our latest episode of the show, for those with an interest in wrestling/humor/black guys and white guys together on screen (and not banging): WWE Weekly Recap 4/26
I will be moving soon, so if anyone has any pointers about property in Los Angeles, hook a brother up.
That’s it for now, but things are only getting started here. Check in on me again soon, I’ll have some big updates.
